![]() ![]() While Seth (George Clooney) is the suave, mildly quick tempered, sociapathic anti-hero type, his cross-to-bear is your more dorky, even-shorter-fused, sex offending, unhinged psychopath variety and evidently has some unresolved childhood trauma to contend with. They share almost everything like good bros should but possess certain idiosyncrasies, particularly younger hombre Richard (Tarantino). What better place to start than the very beginning and our beloved vigilante Gecko brothers, bless ’em. “If you try to run, I’ve got six little friends and they can all run faster than you can” Then for the big dipper and it’s hands-in-the-air dodge the vomit plummetsville all the way. For the best part of an hour we steadily ascend each track and, just before shit goes south, we can see El Wray if we pay close enough attention. Having said that, have you ever heard the term “rollercoaster ride”? That was invented with films such as From Dusk Till Dawn in mind. It proved a canny decision as this falls short of his usual lofty standard. Tarantino was already primed to direct but duties eventually fell to Rodriguez, after Quentin selected against overstretching himself as he was also planned to play a key role in the movie. Quentin Tarantino was riding high after his Oscar success with Pulp Fiction and his screenwriting prowess was approaching the top of its game when he thrashed out his final draft of Robert Kurtzman’s story. Ultimately, Chet’s comprehensive pussy roster just proved all too mouth-watering a proposition to pass up on. This legendary lawless town would have been the ideal place for a pistol-toting wild west showdown. However, El Wray always did fascinate me. Any disenchantment has long since been tempered by the fact that few movies stand up so well to subsequent viewings. The transition is pretty much seamless as we swing wildly from one movie to entirely another, but I still came away feeling as though I had been rectally ravaged by a randy pack mule after my primary pit stop to The Titty Twister. One part pensive road movie and the other balls-to-the-wall supernatural splatterfest, From Dusk Till Dawn represents something of a glorious failure in my books. As for Keeper, I fell into the former clique, and was happy as Crazy Larry slumming it with the brothers grim before all hell literally broke loose. Remember the word “pandemonium” Grueheads as I will be testing you later. Those of us still convulsing after Mia Wallace received her shot of adrenaline were enamored by the talkative entrée whereas, anyone looking for a little otherworldly nocturnal pandemonium were more content once the hors d’ouevre arrived. ![]() You see, Robert Rodriguez’ From Dusk Till Dawn has itself something of a doozy revelation and managed to split opinion into two distinct camps upon its release. Somehow the midpoint twist had managed to remain ambiguous until that point, thus my jaw dropped faster than Kate’s cotton white panties after five-minutes alone with Richie. I still recall my first outing with the Gecko brothers. Conundrums! Conundrums! I guess one drink for the road couldn’t hurt. Oh well, Carlos will be here at dawn so how bad could it be? I swear I’ve seen that chicano before you know. The Titty Twister has a certain ring to it but I prefer my titties untangled. Judging by the extensive pussy platter, I’d sure a little factor thirty can’t be that hard to lay your hands on. Perhaps I can purchase some Amber Solaire inside. Speaking of which, I’m almost out of sunscreen. Something stinks like sloppy quesadillas that have been left out in the blazing heat for too long. ![]() Besides, that Chet Pussy fella looks strikingly similar to the border guard who almost blew our cover a few minutes back. Come to think of it, I’m not entirely convinced that a Mexican strip joint in the middle of nowhere is the best place to grab that margerita anyhoots. ![]() “All right, pussy, pussy, pussy! Come on in pussy lovers! Here at the Titty Twister we’re slashing pussy in half! Give us an offer on our vast selection of pussy, this is a pussy blow out! All right, we got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, we got hot pussy, cold pussy, we got wet pussy, we got……smelly pussy, we got hairy pussy, bloody pussy, we got snappin’ pussy, we got silk pussy, velvet pussy, naugahyde pussy, we even got horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy! Come on, you want pussy, come on in, pussy lovers! If we don’t got it, you don’t want it! Come on in, pussy lovers!”ĭagnabbit! And I really had my heart set on moleskin pussy. ![]()
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